here comes the regrets

i should've asked you back then.

and you would've probably said yes.

were you waiting for me to ask you that?

was i too numb to actually notice that?

what was i doing?

i know exactly that i still like you,

i still do, very much.

and here comes the regrets.

and the images flashing every time i close my eyes.

do you still care?

do you want me back?

i should've known that you're not that kind of person, who'd try and hold me back.

i should've been more open, and maybe we could discuss, or maybe even argue about it.

i thought it was the best, you said it yourself that it wasn't for you, but you didn't give me the reason.

i guess it's all my fault,

i was too blinded with my mind, as it played its own trick against me.

i want you.. i want you back..

but then,

does it really matter?

would you then take me for what i am now?

or you're just fed up with me, and tired or probably sick with my attitude?

i guess all that i can say..

i'm sorry if we didn't have too much to remember,

i'm sorry if i wasn't the best,

i'm sorry for what happened, and all the things i've done.

i'm sorry,

i'll send some love and light every time i think about you, and i promise i'll drop it then.

because i know, someone better is coming your way,

the same will happen to me.

and let the good memories stay where they are, and maybe, someday, if we ever meet again :)

eat pray love

"but i love him"

"so love him"

"but i miss him"

"so miss him. send him some love and light everytime you think about him, and then drop it"

-richard from texas, eat pray love

word of a warrior

"if you have to fight, then fight. if you have to run, then run.

do what you think you should do, until you can't think about what to do anymore.

never leave a mess half wrecked.

if it's possible to fix, then fix.

love until there's no more reason to love.

care until it hurts too much to even try.

try to always get back up every time you fall, until there's no more strength left for you to even sit.

then, when a mess is too much of a disaster already, then maybe it's time to leave, make a u-turn, and start fresh.

no regrets, at least you tried."

-karenchristianti2010

mechanical robot

i need someone to tell me what to do.

direct me, i'm brainless.

i'm an immature kid,

playing innocent, acting gullible.

play me, crush me.

i'm blur with my purpose.

wash me, i'm covered, i'm blind.

i try to find the light,

but all i see is that dim light from far away,

almost blown away.

someone pick me up,

cos i'm getting stuck here.

some selfish thought

i don't need anyone,

nah, not now, not for the time being.

it may sound selfish but i'm just fine with just me.

i'm enjoying my time with my friends,

just fooling around, and having fun.

and i don't think i'm ready for something "adult", i may say.

it still hurts sometimes, thinking about it.

all the words and things he's done.

no, i'm not traumatic,

i just need some time to pull myself together.

so, imma let it flow.

i just wanna have fun, and i want to enjoy every moment :)

something new

staring at the stories i've written.

although not all of it makes me smile,

but lessons i've taken to make me someone better.

what should've been done was done.

what should've happened, happened.

and i don't think there's any possible way to turn back time and restructure the path that i've taken to make it here.

i was a weary soul.

shattered and scared.

my fears have taken up most of my energy,

and i didn't look at life as bright as it should be.

i was scattered, as fragile as a thin glass.

but i found that light that has been hanging above me,

and i gather everything that was left,

not to fix what was built,

instead, i prepare myself to build something new.

something that may be worth it.

something that is certain to be better.

broken

tell me how do you fly with broken wings?

with your heart broken,

knowing things ain't right.

nothing's gone the way it supposed to be.

how i really wish you were here,

to shed my every tear.

to tell me that things are gonna be just fine.

in the worst situation, best birthday ever

sebenernya buat gue ulangtaun tuh sama aja sama hari hari lainnya. cuma bedanya, hari itu gue mengingat kalo gue pernah lahir (swt much?)

sebenernya ga pengen ngerayain rame rame, kalo bisa diem di rumah nonton dvd sama my closest friends dan ngobrol ngobrol doang gue mau, terakhir aja gue udah ga ngerayain lagi soalnya males ngurusinnya. i hate crowds..

tapi lalu, kali ini ulangtaun gue yang ke tujuhbelas, dan kayaknya sejak taun lalu ulangtaun gue ga pernah baik. ada aja yang bikin bete lalu resek..

walaupun begitu, malemnya ada lagi hal terbaik yang pernah terjadi ama gue. Tuhan tuh baiknya sama gue super. ga ngerti, di dalem situasi yang bikin gue down bikin gue benyek kayak roti penyet, ada lagi surat yang ngebangun gue dan sangat amat mengcomfort gue.

empat taun perjalanan persahabatan gue sama mereka. empat taun lebih gue kenal gue sayang mereka. empat taun itu yang paling berharga dan ga bakal pernah gue lupain. dan seumur hidup gue, i swear to God, i'll be more than just a frikkin idiot if i ever let any of these people go out of my life.

gue suka di kasi kado, suka banget, tapi gue lebih suka lagi kalo gue tau kado itu di kasi pake effort tenaga, care sama love. jujur material things tuh bisa gue dapetin kapan aja. tapi hal hal kayak gini nih, these things that they've done for me, it's priceless.